its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
