could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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