just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
