my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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