I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
