It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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