I puked a lego.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
