Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We need to rekindle our bromance
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
