a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He passed out mid-signature
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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