Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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