so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This house was built for laser tag.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize