why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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