I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
