i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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