Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
someone threw a dead crab at me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
