We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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