So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
