fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
