Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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