i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
