quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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