my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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