He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
