You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize