I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize