wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
