i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
