plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You made out with two different species that night
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
