Kiss
Puke
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
