so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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