she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
