dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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