God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
