Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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