I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
