Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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