did you get engaged???
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back