This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
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Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.