how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
