You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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