Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she looked like the before picture.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
