He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
