Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
