that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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