Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize