I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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