please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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