dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
