I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
