seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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