Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize