If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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