I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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