My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
