I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
