drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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