my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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