Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
